Touching
by Know Your Onion
Summary: A series in ficlets and drabbles. CarlGabriel slash. Chapter Eleven has been uploaded.
1. Chapter 1

I didn't used to be so careful about my words. I'm not, really, not the way you are, not the way you need to be. But I've learned from you--learned what power words have, and how they can be chosen and crafted and woven. I've learned it as much from your stammers and the frustration that engulfs you when the words won't come, as from the power your words have when they come just right, and your eyes glow and your hands relax and your mouth softens around them. So now I'm trying to be careful like that.


	2. Chapter 2

It took a long time for me to kiss you. I was afriad of what it meant about us. I thought--and I was right--that if I kissed you once it would be risking everything: the future, the past, my whole life and maybe yours. Risking my heart, which is the same as everything, isn't it?


	3. Chapter 3

Your mouth was soft and surprised. I landed on one corner, then slid across to kiss you square. You smelled like bergamot and honey and the sea, and I wanted to taste, too, but I was afraid. I kissed you gently but firmly, and I kept my tongue to myself--time enough for that if I hadn't ruined everything already, I thought. My body didn't agree. It wanted you then and there, but I concentrated on your scent and the texture of your lips, and then it was over--our first kiss. I pulled my head back and looked at you.


	4. Chapter 4

Your eyes are hypnotic, did you know? They are. Sometimes I can't look away from them. It is their colour, and their shape. Their focus, and when that focus is turned on me I feel myself blurring. Which I know makes no sense. And that day when I kissed you, your eyes were puzzled, and they sparked a bit, and you smiled. You tilted your head at me just so, and I wanted to look away but I couldn't, not from those eyes, so I laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

The second time we kissed was after the Transilvania mission. I was lying on your bed, and you came and sat by me.

"Do you want to kiss me again?" you asked.

It had been two years since that first one. I nodded, and you stretched out beside me and offered your face up to me, and I knew right then, my life was going to get complicated. Kissing you was drowning. We kissed for hours, soft and hard, intense and deep and quick and long, until your lips were swollen and red, eyes heavy and dark.


	6. Chapter 6

Your mouth is tea and honey. It tastes as sweet as I thought it would that first time, and it tastes… more. Your lips take my breath away, every single time. Sometimes I look at your mouth, stare at it steadily until we are both dizzy with desire, me from watching, you from being watched. Texture and colour and shape--soft and red and cupie-bow curved. When your tongue flicks out, nervous and pink, it takes all I have not to tackle you, but I don't. I meet your eyes, and grin, and go back to watching. It's strangely satisfying.


	7. Chapter 7

You touched me--really touched me--before I touched you. It's not that I hadn't wanted to. My hands already knew your public body well--how often had our fingers tangled, sweaty and sensitive as you hummed your pleasure into my mouth, our kisses winding on and on and on…My thumb knew the soft short hair at the nape of your neck, and my fingers had caressed the smooth curve of your cheekbone a thousand times. Your shoulders, the long lovely sweep of your back and the surprisingly muscular lines of your arms had long been mine to know. Your hands--clever and small and neat, and due better words than I can weave--had touched me similarly, but we had kept the touches almost chaste by unspoken agreement.

When you finally slid your hand beneath my shirt and onto my skin I thought I might die. I gasped so loudly that you froze, and we both began to laugh.

"Should I stop?"

I regained my breath and grinned at you. "If you do I may go mad," I said honestly.

"Then I won't," you said, and you didn't.


	8. Chapter 8

You wanted to touch me everywhere, and you moved very quickly from my chest to my belly and my back and my legs, feet and ankles and hips, insisting that I touch you, too, squirming under my hands until we were both breathing fast, half-dressed, wholly roused, glazed and hard and delirious with it.

"We should stop," I breathed as you kissed my bare chest and ran your hand up my thigh; my erection strained against my briefs and yours was equally visible.

"I don't want to," you said, and you didn't.

And I didn't either.


	9. Chapter 9

I got up to lock your bedroom door.

That's when the both of us knew, but I sat down and stroked your hair back from your forehead.

"Do you want to… do this?"

You smiled at me, and your face was so happy and content, sweat-sheened and rosy that I had to grin back.

"I do," your smile grew wild and shy, "but I don't know just what I want to do."

I lay down again and laughed. "Me either," I admitted. "But I think we're on the track of something lovely."

"Yes," and you curled against me, still glowing.


	10. Chapter 10

We were awkward, that first time. I can't help grinning to think of it, and then of how we make love now, practiced and knowledgeable and sure in the way we touch one another. But that first time we pushed raggedly against one another, blind with heat and desire, until your legs were around my waist and I lay heavy and desperate atop you. Our mouths were melded together, hands groping frantically for purchase as our hips followed suit, and finally our arousals lay alongside each other and we found a movement that worked. Oh, did it work.


	11. Chapter 11

You came first, your mouth an astonished "O" and your eyes flaring wide and then shut so tight that your lids creased. The rhythm between us was gone as you bucked beneath me, and my hips slid wildly across your suddenly slick belly, spiraling me into my own climax as your breath whooshed across my face and I made a sound so hoarse, so fierce, and so loud that I am _still_ amazed no one came to investigate.

I slumped atop you and we held each other for a long time.


End file.
